Relevance Post- Songs and Bilbo

There is a song by Sleeping at Last (which, if you're not familiar with, please do yourself a favor and go listen to some of their stuff) called Pluto. I will share the lyrics below, but first a small comment. This song originally clicked with me because I have always felt afraid of feeling too much and showing too much. For a very long time I felt the need to close myself off, to the point where I was completely numb for several years, seemingly to the point of being "emotionally unavailable". However, lately I listened to it again after starting to be a lot more open and I saw a whole new meaning for the song. It isnt about being afraid, like I originally thought. It is about branching out and taking a leap of faith; much like Bilbo does when he agrees to be the (dear god I want to make a pun about Hobbits and  Hamburglar) thief for the dwarves. Just one more example of how music plays a huge part in the world of Tolkien... even decades after he has stopped writing about it.

"Pluto"

I woke up from the same dream:
Falling backwards, falling backwards
’Til it turned me inside out.

Now I live a waking life
Of looking backwards, looking backwards;
A model citizen of doubt.

Until one day I had enough
Of this exercise of trust.
I leaned in and let it hurt,
And let my body feel the dirt.
When I break pattern, I break ground.
I rebuild when I break down.
I wake up more awake than I’ve ever been before.

Still I’m pinned under the weight
Of what I believed would keep me safe.
So show me where my armor ends,
Show me where my skin begins.
Like a final puzzle piece
It all makes perfect sense to me…
The heaviness that I hold in my heart belongs to gravity.
The heaviness that I hold in my heart’s been crushing me.

I’ve been worried all my life,
A nervous wreck most of the time.
I’ve always been afraid of heights,
Of falling backwards, falling backwards.
I’ve been worried all my life.

’Til one day I had enough
Of this exercise of trust.
I leaned in and let it hurt,
Let my body feel the dirt.
When I break pattern, I break ground.
I rebuild when I break down.
I wake up more awake than I’ve ever been before.

Still I’m pinned under the weight
Of what I believed would keep me safe.
So show me where my armor ends,
Show me where my skin begins.
Like a final puzzle piece,
It all makes perfect sense to me…
The heaviness that I hold in my heart belongs to gravity.
The heaviness in my heart belongs to gravity.

{Nienna}